Being pro life means defending marriage

A counselor who understands “burst” marriages gives hope to couples in crisis: because the tears, in many cases, can be solidly mended.




Among the “structures of sin” that pollute legal systems and contemporary society we must certainly include divorce (which the legislator euphemistically defines as «Termination of the civil effects of marriage»). The devastating effects on the family and especially on children they are now known and visible to all, as well as now defined by psychology as extreme situations of discomfort and suffering. So every time a family unit splits, it experiences itself serious damage to the children comparable to a bereavement.

In recent years we cannot deny a doctrinal and jurisprudential effort on the part of jurists and also an attention from the legislator to protect children in the post-separation and post-divorce period, despite the tragic and uninterrupted news on the outcome of many divorces make us think that the problem of the subjects involved in marital crises is still largely to be resolved.

It would undoubtedly be desirable, especially with regard to concordat marriages which are celebrated in the Church and have civil effects by virtue of the international treaties of 1929 and 1984, which have gone down in history as the Lateran Pacts, to extend the dutiful protection of children also to spouses who are holders of an open position and protected by natural right to appeasement, understood as care of consortium totius vitae and resolution of marital crises with consequent saving of the marriage through a strengthening of the attempt at conciliation, which “attempt” even today is mandatory but trivialized and reduced to a mere formal passage, thus violating the content of the Lateran Pacts which recognize the concordat marriage and therefore presuppose the sacredness of the act. In fact, Jesus himself elevated marriage to a sacrament (see Mt.19.4.7: «…the Creator from the beginning made them male and female and said:…the two will become one flesh so that they are not plus two but only one flesh therefore what the Lord has joined together let no man put asunder». See also in the Code of Canon Law canon n. 1055 which defines the marriage covenant”consortium totius vitae” or “lifelong communion”, which lasts a lifetime, ordained to the welfare of spouses and the begetting of children)

The effectiveness and therefore the strengthening of the mandatory attempt at conciliation could be implemented by resorting to the resources of the best science and experience of this historical period in which cases, not even very rare, of “rescuing marriages in crisis” are attested, or after adequate therapies individuals and couples not purely formal or through “experiential support programs” (for example see the fraternity websites Marry forever or even the association Back grape), in which the separating or divorcing spouses, seeing the example and the story of pain of others positively resolved, can trigger a psychological mechanism of reinforcement of the faith and the supernatural value of marriage which awakens the conscience, counterfeited by the current mentality anti-family and divorce-loving therefore instinctual, regressive and anti-Christian. Marriage is one of the “three distinctive traits of humanity”as Mazzoleni writes: «the religion that is founded on the fear of the Lord, the regular burials that recognize the sacredness of the human body linked to the dignity of the person and the sacredness of marriage through solemn forms and rituals in the presence of the people and the religious authority » (E. Mazzoleni , Symbols and narratives of law in Giambattista Vico, 2020 p. 84 ff).

Taking into account the sacred derivation of the family in concordat marriage and its social essentiality, the best gift that pro-life and pro-family people from all over the world can give to children and to those who are in the dramatic situation of the marital crisis – not only for the conservation of human, but above all to contribute to the establishment of the civilization of love (see the family as the cornerstone of the civilization of love in M. Toso, Social dimension of faith2021, p.179 ss., 2021) – is the rediscovery of the dimension of cure in pathological marital relationships in which often – as can be seen in the margins of some stories – the spouses themselves want to be heard about their drama and indeed have an extreme need to clarify themselves and to dialogue with the other spouse in environments that respect the “sacredness of the marriage bond” and in any case to experience a true and effective method to reconstitute the broken unity of their family, relearning to love each other as husband and wife despite the fact that the evil system and the divorce culture, fueled by the state and therefore from the systemic judicial duopoly – forensics, the pride of Cain, the despair of Judas and the resentments produce an appearance as deceptive as satanic (lying), on which the judicial provisions of divorce are frequently based, of ” the impossibility of continuing life family”, a blasphemous juridical concept against the sanctity of concordat marriage.

The pro-life and pro-family cultural movements, the political parties and movements in defense of non-negotiable principles (either Christianly inspired or conservative), which are all universal in their vocation, therefore have before them a “call to action”. They must act on political representation at all levels, they must carry out specific and truthful campaigns on the stories and genesis of tragedies, conferences, persuasion activities at the Councils of the Orders and forensic associations, build dialogue with the judiciary to defend the familyfoundation of humanity and seed of the prophesied civilization of love, diligently trying to inform, educate and illustrate to young and old the malignant presence of this incubated myth of the trivialization of the sacred which appears with the deceptive appearance of the marital break and the consequent “desperation of Judas” on the impossibility of reconstituting the family unit after the judgment of the worldly court. It is an artificial and deceitful product of the current single divorce thought which uses as I pretext the word “love” or “the end of love” (as if “love” were a taximeter!) to justify aberrant and pathological behavior. For these reasons, it would be useful for everyone to jump in moral and value quality professionals and experts (psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists, counselor) that they begin a process of discernment between the various phenomena of marital crises, also contemplating the possibility of evaluate some extreme behaviors of the spouses such as real psychiatric crises, induced by the system and the surrounding environmentunfortunately suitable to endanger one’s own life and that of one’s loved ones (a very current phenomenon of family massacres).

On the further level of ecclesiastical law (Church / State relations) it also appears unavoidable, given that the family is an entity of sacred derivation that even pre-exists the State, and given the existence of this “deceptive appearance of the divorce system” which offends the sanctity of marriage and the Lateran Pacts, the function of the pro life and pro family is to favor every possible “co-planning, collaboration and coordination between Church and State in order to enhance the ecclesial jurisdiction on null concordat marriages because it is certain (a well-known fact in Church circles) that over half of concordat marriages are null and void due to the immaturity of the engaged couples. Thus in an evolved system, which formally and with constitutional relevance provides for the principle of collaboration between Church and State, it seems truly inevitable from a logical-juridical point of view that a marriage (which is a sacrament) be examined in its validity first by the courts of the Church (subject to jurisdiction) to prevent squalid and blasphemous little theaters from rising to divorce sentences and thus avoiding an epochal attack on the family.

Corollary of this awareness on the issue of nullity of marriages, caused by “immaturity of spouses”, it should also be the assessment of the suitability of immature spouses to maintain full parental authority and the possible introduction into the law of figures in support of parenthood on the certain fact that an immature person to enter into a marriage act (between two “adults”) very probably he doesn’t even have the full ability to educate his offspring with tragic and devastating social repercussions that find more and more confirmation in contemporary events. But, if that’s true immature spouses can hardly be mature parents, it is also true that the State must organize a system of support for them, avoiding as much as possible the separation of children from their mother and father, so as not to repeat the aberrations we have witnessed in the cases of Forteto and Bibbiano and in all the other cases in in which the state violates the natural rights of families and children.

by Ruggero Valori

Article previously published in the News Pro Vita & Famiglia magazine n. 111 of October 2022

Being pro life means defending marriage